When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
