I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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