your thong is hanging out like whoa
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
