i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
