Screwed.edu
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
