and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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