My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize