Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
