You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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