How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
