there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize