Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize