my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
