She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
