went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
