Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
