I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
