No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
