The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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