Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
