you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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