Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Who died my cat blue again?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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