just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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