Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
