So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
