youre lurking in front of me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
