I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
