I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
