I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
