to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
