when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
my poor anus
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
