y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
