I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize