apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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