Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize