he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize