She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize