her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
