Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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