dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
