Don't make out with my wife yet
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
