Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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