i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
