I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
