I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
