I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
