love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
