oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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