Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
