This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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