that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
