I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
