My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
