no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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